


Racing Hearts and Cold Hands

by tinyheartless



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Denial, Eventual Fluff, Falling In Love, Fluffy Ending, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-22 16:44:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17666303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyheartless/pseuds/tinyheartless
Summary: Otoya finds himself struggling to deal with the feelings he's developing for Syo.





	Racing Hearts and Cold Hands

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks again to the mods!  
> This is my last fic for the utapri flashbang. I'm really happy I got to participate in it!  
> My paired artist for this fic was [ Lils ](https://twitter.com/EreminClub).  
> You can see her art piece [ here ](https://twitter.com/UtapriFlashBang/status/1094059845144231936)!!

It’s the late afternoon. Otoya is mindlessly playing his guitar on his bed, and Syo is watching _Prince of Fighting_ reruns on the couch. Reiji and Tokiya are out, and Natsuki is trying to nap away a slight cold, so Otoya let him chill in his room with him.

“I’m bored.” Syo says.

“Same, wanna do something?”

“Like, what?”

Otoya glances down at his guitar in his lap. “Know how to play the guitar?”

“Nope,” Syo sits up, “wanna teach me?”

“Yeah, sure. I’ve never taught someone before, but it should be fun.”

Syo climbs onto the bed, and Otoya hands him the guitar, teaching him how to hold it correctly.

For a few minutes, he tries his best to verbally explain the notes, but Syo never quite places his fingers over the right parts of the strings.

“Here, lemme…” he trails off, placing his fingers over Syo’s to guide them over the fretboard.

He helps him play an easy song, so he can understand the notes better, and eventually, Syo gets a decent grasp on it. Otoya praises him and explains how he can improve if he ever wishes to. When he stops talking, he finds Syo looking at him, almost intently. Suddenly, he’s very aware of the fact that his hand is still resting over Syo’s. He’s unsure of what to do, so they just lock eyes for a few seconds, until Syo gives him a soft smile.

It makes him feel something— his heart beating so fast that it feels as if it’s trying to burst from his chest or lodge itself into his throat. His ears burn, and it threatens to spread onto his cheeks.

“Uh, thanks, Otoya.”

He finally moves his hand and nods, not trusting his voice.

“I should check up on Natsuki.” Syo hands him the guitar back. “See you, tomorrow, then?”

When he gets up, he violently ruffles Otoya’s hair, which brings him out of his nerves.

“Bye,” he laughs, running out the door.

Somehow, Otoya thinks he’s felt that weird feeling before, like it had always been present when he and Syo hung out, but it was quieter.

He recalls specific moments he might’ve felt it— glances at each other over a cafeteria table, catching a moment to hang out between classes, leaning against each other on the floor of a practice room, tired out from dance practices.

Now, the feeling is very obvious to him, and he doesn’t know what to do.

He’s only felt that way before with a couple of people, but they were stupid crushes that he quickly got over. Syo, however, seems different, and he isn’t exactly sure what it is.

Even if it _is_ an actual crush, he can’t do anything about it; they’re not supposed to be dating, anyway.  

It’s possible that this feeling will go away, like it did before.

He decides that he’ll try to forget about it.

 

For awhile, it’s easy.

He’s able to distract himself with work— photoshoots, songwriting, recordings, practices, performances. That is until he finds time to catch his breath, finally getting used to everything. He takes more notice of Syo’s signature loudness when he’s excited, how powerful his singing voice sounds, the way he always puts care into his appearance.

But then, he notices the way Syo’s voice sounds when he sings softly, how he naturally gravitates towards Otoya, and his ever present body leaning against him, relaxed after practices.

As it turns out...Otoya couldn’t get himself to forget his feelings about Syo.

Actually, the more he saw him, the more conflicted he felt regarding his feelings, and the more attention he paid to them.

So, he’s been avoiding him.

It hurt at first to decline when Syo wanted to hang out with him in their free time, but he forced himself to do it. During their Starish practices, he occupied himself by talking to the others instead.

After awhile he realizes, through avoiding Syo, he’s been neglecting talking to Natsuki, since he’s often around him.

Today, he decides he’ll have a chat with him. He feels bad in the first place for avoiding Syo, and he’d feel even worse if he also did that to Natsuki.

He hopes that Syo isn’t currently in the room and tries to ignore the erratic beating of his heart before knocking on the door.

“Come in!” Natsuki calls.

Opening the door, Otoya sees him drinking tea at the table, phone in hand. His eyes dart around the room, but Syo is nowhere to be found— he instantly relaxes.

“Hello Otoya,” Natsuki smiles, “did you need something?”

“Not really. I just wanted to see how you were doing...”

“Oh! I’m fine. Amazing, even.”

“Do you feel good about the photoshoot you did earlier?”

“Yeah! I can’t wait to see the photos.”

“That’s good.”

“Hey, would you like to have some tea with me? It’s...been awhile.”

He hesitates to answer, his grip shifting on the doorknob— _Syo could be back any moment now._

“Uh…”

“It’s okay, Syo and Ai won’t be back for awhile, and I actually wanted to talk about you and Syo.”

“Wait, wha-?”

“Come sit,” Natsuki says, patting the chair next to him.

Otoya can’t bring himself to decline, so he relents, sitting down.

“...You like him, don’t you?”

Otoya’s face instantly burns, and he covers it with both of his hands. “H-How did you…?”

“The way you look at him,” he says, “I just noticed it recently.”

“You always look conflicted— one moment you’re looking at him with this cute sparkle in your eyes, then in a flash, they turn dark and longing.”

Otoya’s eyes widen.

“Have you been avoiding him? I had an idea of what was going on when Syo suddenly asked me awhile ago if he made you mad, so I think he noticed.”

“I didn’t realize I was that obvious.” Otoya closes his eyes, as if he’s trying to clear his mind. “I don’t know what to do; I don’t wanna ruin anything by telling him, but at the same time, it’s hard to be around him when I get so nervous.”

“Otoya, I think Syo would understand.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t think your friendship would be ruined if you told him.” Natsuki smiles. “I think it would be good for the both of you, if you just talked it out with him— explain why you were avoiding him and about your feelings for him.”

“Don’t you think he’d be uncomfortable?”

He shakes his head.

“How can you be so sure?”

Natsuki shrugs. “We’re very close, and...I don’t know, I have the _feeling_ he wouldn’t be.”

Otoya considers this for a moment. Natsuki’s known Syo the longest out of everyone here, but there’s still the chance that telling Syo may not turn out exactly as even _he_ would expect.

“...Okay, I’ll think about it.”

 

A few days later, Tokiya grabs Otoya’s attention as he returns to the dorm room.

“Hey,” Tokiya says, “can we talk?”

“...Did I do something wrong?”

“No…! No, I just wanted to tell you something.”

“Okay.” Otoya sits down on his bed. “Shoot.”

“Well,” he pauses, “...Masa and I are dating.”

“O-Oh, I didn’t kn-”

“Yeah,” he crosses his arms, “um, we wanted to start letting the other members know, because we’re getting suspicious— Ren already knows.”

“I get it...and I’m glad you too are close.”

“Yeah. Well, I was actually about to head out with him now.” He says, putting on his coat. “Also, please don’t tell anyone else, yet.”

“Got it.” Otoya nods, then considers something.

Before Tokiya reaches the door, he says, “Wait.”

“What if I told you,” he hesitates, “...that I like one of our other members?”

If anyone can relate to his situation, it’s definitely Tokiya, so he must have some advice for him.

Tokiya looks at him and Otoya can almost hear the gears turning in his head.

“Talk to him,” he finally says.

“You really think I should?”

“That’s what I did with Masa.”

He leaves— Otoya is left feeling slightly disappointed.

 

A month later, Otoya hasn’t talked to Syo.

He sits on his bed with his headphones on, thinking about whether he _really_ should or not.

It didn’t work when he tried to avoid him, in fact it only made Syo worry, and he couldn’t just ignore his feelings; they won’t go away.

But, Natsuki and Tokiya told him that he should talk to him, so maybe he _should_. It might help him move on from liking him. Natsuki even said that if he told him, Syo would understand. A silly crush wouldn’t be enough to ruin their friendship. They could just acknowledge that it happened and move on.

He writes out a text to Syo, asking him where he is. It isn’t long after he exits out of his music app that he gets a reply of a specific practice room. _That’s right,_ Otoya remembers, _he’s practicing the new song with Masa and Ai._ He almost decides not to approach him now— until he gets another text saying they just went on break. Before he has time to overthink, he walks out and makes for the practice room. He jogs down the halls and takes the stairs down two at a time, and he scans the plaques until he finds the right room.

The door is slightly open, allowing him to see a sliver of the inside. The first thing he sees is two people holding both of each other’s hands. He looks more closely— Syo is holding Haruka’s hands. They’re laughing. He swings her around as they start dancing. They look so happy together.

It makes Otoya falter.

There’s a pain in his chest that he couldn’t begin to describe, and he loses the confidence to walk in and ask Syo to talk with him.

He can’t do it.

Pretty much all of the guys love Haruka, whether they actually have a crush on her or they love her like a best friend. Even Otoya had kind of a thing for her at one point. Why would Syo be any different? He seems to only have eyes for her, always finding a reason to talk with her during writing, practice, or recording sessions, even when it didn’t seem necessary.

There’s no point in telling him. It would just be embarrassing, since he obviously likes her.

His eyes sting as he backs away from the door. He takes off, making for his room. His vision is blurred— tears fill his eyes, so he doesn’t quite catch sight of Natsuki before he runs into him, caught by the arms.

“Otoya...?!”

“I can’t tell him,’ he chokes out, “I wanted to tell Syo, but I can’t…!”

“Hey, what?”

“It’s...Haruka.”

Otoya runs past him, and he hears Natsuki run too, but in the opposite direction. He wipes his face off with his forearms as he nears his room. Otoya barges in, catching Tokiya’s attention. He must have returned while he was gone. Tokiya, at his desk, turns to look at him.

“Everything okay?”

Otoya ignores him for a second in favor of hastily putting on a hoodie. “I’m going for a run.”

“Wait,” Tokiya says, standing up, “Otoya, it’s going to rain, you’ll catch a cold...!”

But he’s already gone.

 

Tokiya was right. By the time he runs a few blocks away from the dorms, it’s already sprinkling. He pulls on his hood, running down the path until he can no longer see the buildings. He’ll know how to get back, since he usually runs this path in the mornings; the route is basically engraved in his brain.

As he runs, Otoya never stops crying. The tears leave his vision blurry and inconsistent, leaving him almost tripping a few times. He sprints until his body is screaming for him to stop. All he wants is to clear his head. To stop feeling anything. Everything is so overwhelming.

He wishes he didn’t feel so pathetic for crying; he already expected nothing to come of him and Syo.

He makes it to the halfway point when he finally stops. The rain is pouring now, crashing into the river next to the path. He leans on his knees, panting. His clothes are soaked, making him believe he _will_ actually get sick, especially since he won’t be back to where he can shower any time soon. He forgot his phone too, which he at least is thankful for, because it would surely be drenched and ruined by now.

He catches his breath, and almost angrily, wipes at his face with already soaken sleeves, burying his face in his cold hands. He just stays there for a few minutes, trying to will away his tears and the painful feeling in his chest.

A distant noise interrupts him, though. His body tenses, and he listens for it again.

“...Otoya!”

It’s...Syo’s voice?

_No,_ he thinks, _that’s impossible._

“Otoya!”

He turns around, and Syo is definitely there, running towards him.

His hair and clothes are just as soaked as Otoya’s, and as he approaches him, he doesn’t seem to slow down his pace.

“Otoya, you’re so stupid!”

“Wha-?”

Suddenly, Syo is right there, grabbing him by his hoodie and pulling him down to kiss him.

“Stupid,” Syo says, in between the kisses he plants over Otoya’s lips, “ _stupid.”_

Otoya is shocked. Syo is kissing him. Why is Syo kissing him? And more importantly— _why isn’t he kissing him back?_

He regains enough of his sense to grab Syo’s face and kiss him for real, like he never expected he’d be able to. Otoya is afraid that if he doesn’t take it in now, it will be lost forever, like it’s a dream he’ll inevitably wake up from. He focuses on the way Syo’s fingers curl into the fabric of his hoodie, the feeling of his body leaning against Syo’s, a wild heart racing against his own, the way their lips move, automatically slotting together like puzzle pieces.

But when they pull away, breathless, Syo is still there.

“...Syo, what?”

“Natsuki told me, and then Tokiya gave you up when I went to look for you.”

Otoya gapes at him.

“Haru was just helping us.”

“Then, all this time…”

“ _Yes,_ you should’ve told me.”

“I was scared...” Otoya admits.

“Now you don’t have to be.”

 

It’s sunrise when Otoya wakes up to the feeling of cold hands sneaking under his shirt and someone climbing into his bed.

“No, cold…!”

Syo presses his cold body against his warm one, spooning him and moving his arms further under Otoya’s shirt.

Otoya whines, irritated as his warmth is being stolen.

“S’too cold to sleep alone,” Syo slurs.

The dorm’s heater broke last night; a nice excuse for Otoya to sleep while cuddling his boyfriend.

When he turns, wrapping his arms around Syo and rubbing his back, he kisses him— the anxiety his feelings caused him a distant memory.

Now, here with Syo, his heart feels full.

 


End file.
